All that I must needs read afore I dee.

ME: [Reads the Arden Shakespeare Third Series, volume after volume.]

ALSO ME: Shit, I really need to hold up a minute and read Cervantes, Holinshed and Hall and maybe Froissart, Ovid and Plutarch, Machiavelli, Marx, and these 418 books of criticism and biography and Elizabethan history and sociology and other early modern plays, with commentary.

 

CHARLES DICKENS AND STEPHEN KING: Psst, c'mere, dude.